I'm Ready for My Close-Up
Hey everyone! Here's my fourth weekly catch up, where we look at all of the films I've watched this week. The episode of The Drive Back this week didn't have a film that we had to watch, so these are all films I watched of my own choosing (for better or for worse). It's a special Catching Up since most of the films are either really good or really bad.
Let's start with a film I've been wanting to watch for three years now.
Mandy (2018)
SCORE: 91/100
Directed By: Panos Cosmatos
Starring: Nicolas Cage, Andrea Riseborough, Linus Roache
Synopsis: The enchanted lives of a couple in a secluded forest are brutally shattered by a nightmarish hippie cult and their demon-biker henchmen, propelling a man into a spiraling, surreal rampage of vengeance.
Quick Review: Mandy is an acid trip, through and through. It's by and far the most original movie that I've seen in an incredibly long time. It's a gorgeous revenge thriller, highlighted by a career high performance from Nicolas Cage. It is a slow burner, but the burn is worth the wait to get an unhinged, violent, and metal-inspired look and tone that is unrivaled in film. While I wish the plot was a bit more interesting, other than being a revenge thriller, it's more than kept afloat by its performances, style, and its originality. It's a weird one, but so incredibly worth it. SIDE NOTE: I did end up buying this film, and it now resides in my collection.
If you'd like to watch it, it's available on Shudder.
Austin Powers in Goldmember (2012)
SCORE: 37/100
Directed By: Jay Roach
Starring: Mike Meyers, Beyonce, Michael Caine
Synopsis: Upon learning that his father has been kidnapped, Austin Powers must travel to 1975 and defeat the aptly named villain Goldmember, who is working with Dr. Evil.
Quick Review: When I start a series, I have to finish it. Luckily, Goldmember is better than the previous to by the smallest amount. It's still painfully unfunny at its worst, but has a few good moments. I actually enjoyed Beyonce here in a role that feels like its trying to parody Blaxploitation films. While it's not consistent, it's the best supporting character in a while. There's also a few funny fourth wall jokes regarding subtitles, and a few funny dialogue ones, but most of the humor remains toilet humor, which isn't funny to anyone who isn't 12 years old. While the third is the best, it's not by much, and the franchise remains overall a hard skip from me.
If you'd like to watch it, it's available on Netflix and HBO Max.
Batman: Mask of the Phantasm (1993)
SCORE: 82/100
Directed By: Eric Radomski, Bruce Timm
Starring: Kevin Conroy, Dana Delany, Hart Bochner
Synopsis: Batman is wrongly implicated in a series of murders of mob bosses actually done by a new vigilante assassin.
Quick Review: Mask of the Phantasm is a surprisingly mature animated Batman film that presents a great original story, while also being one of the best animated Batman, or DC for that matter, films. Taking it's look and feel from the Batman Animated Series, this film feels like a natural continuation, or a longer episode, of the series it is based on. It's a fun mystery that I think would make an interesting live action version down the road, but it does suffer in a few areas for me. I don't think the mystery was as deep as it could've been, I think it would've been better as a straight detective story with no existing villains or other characters, and I think the film is a bit too short. The Joker is also forced into this movie where I don't feel he deserved to be, but since he's the only big villain from Batman in the film it's understandable. All in all, Mask of the Phantasm is still an awesome Batman movie, and one that's worth a watch if you have HBO Max.
If you'd like to watch it, it's available on HBO Max.
The Nice Guys (2016)
SCORE: 89/100
Directed By: Shane Black
Starring: Russell Crowe, Ryan Gosling, Angourie Rice
Synopsis: In 1970s Los Angeles, a mismatched pair of private eyes investigate a missing girl and the mysterious death of a porn star.
Quick Review: Crowe and Gosling lead an awesome cast through a hilarious and fun romp through 70's Hollywood. I wasn't expecting the movie to be this quirky and fun, and was pleasantly surprised from the get-go. The plot does get a little too dense toward the end, but the consistent comedy and chemistry between Crowe, Rice, and Gosling carries it through. It's over the top and violent, and if it had better dialogue it could be held up next to Tarantino's work. Whoever thought Gosling would be a good action-comedy actor needs an award, because he works brilliantly here, as does Crowe. It's way more fun than it has any right to be, and highly recommend it if you're looking for a movie night!
If you'd like to watch it, it's available on Hulu.
Poltergeist (1982)
SCORE: 88/100
Directed By: Tobe Hooper
Starring: JoBeth Williams, Craig T. Nelson, Heather O'Rourke
Synopsis: A family's home is haunted by a host of demonic ghosts.
Quick Review: Continuing on my horror journey, the next stop was the classic Poltergeist. Produced by Steven Spielberg and directed by Tobe Hooper (The Texas Chain Saw Massacre), Poltergeist is an awesome horror movie that also blends a bit of fantasy in. The performances all around are great, and there are some really good visual effects with moving items. The film does fall a bit flat in that some of the effects make the film seem a bit cheesy rather than scary, and it doesn't feel as horror-y as I was led to believe after years of not seeing it. However, as a Spielberg nut, it feels like one of his films even though he wasn't in the director's chair. I think he brought more of the fantasy and family element similar to Close Encounters or E.T., while Hooper brought the horror. It's a great intro horror film that, while it hasn't aged too well, provides a level of finesse and tension to be well worth your time.
If you'd like to watch it, it's available on HBO Max and Shudder.
Shark Tale (2004)
SCORE: 11/100
Directed By: Vicky Jensen, Bibo Bergeron, Rob Lettermen
Starring: Will Smith, Robert De Niro, Renee Zellweger
Synopsis: When a son of a gangster shark boss is accidentally killed while on the hunt, his would-be prey and his vegetarian brother decide to use the incident to their own advantage.
Quick Review: After years, I still can't tell who this movie is made for. It clearly contains adult humor, but some of the gags seem for kids. It uses dated stereotypes and jokes, but can't even make those funny. At least the film presents a somewhat original take on the age old story of the liar becoming popular for doing the thing he lied about, but even then the story isn't as interesting. While the film has an impressive cast, it does nothing with them. Renee Zellweger, Robert De Niro, and Martin Scorsese are the highlights of the cast here, it's not saying much. Everyone's performance here is so phoned it it hurts. In addition, the film is painfully unfunny and is also just plain ugly. The animation hasn't aged well, and the character design is downright awful. I hate this movie, and it seems like most other people do too, so please avoid watching this film and causing yourself pain.
If you'd like to watch it, which you shouldn't, it's available on Hulu and Peacock Premium.
Paprika (2006)
SCORE: 85/100
Directed By: Satoshi Kon
Starring: Megumi Hayashibara, Tôru Emori, Katsunosuke Hori
Synopsis: When a machine that allows therapists to enter their patients' dreams is stolen, all hell breaks loose. Only a young female therapist, Paprika, can stop it.
Quick Review: Paprika is as haunting and creepy as it is beautiful. Satoshi Kon has created a visual masterpiece that provides something to look at on every frame. Where I feel this movie fails somewhat is in its ending, which seems a little to far fetched for the more grounded story it started with. I read somewhere that this film was an inspiration for Inception, but I could be wrong about that. It's easy to see, since both films are about entering peoples' dreams. It's hard to recommend this film to those who aren't more well versed in anime, since this film does feel like a bit of a drug trip, but it's worth it for the absolutely beautiful animation.
If you'd like to watch it, it's available to rent.
Class Action Park (2020)
SCORE: 74/100
Directed By: Seth Porges, Chris Charles Scott III
Starring: Mary Pilon, Jim DeSaye, Jesse Paladin
Synopsis: A documentary that focuses on a dangerously legendary water park and its slew of injuries and crimes along with child safety concerns.
Quick Review: Class Action Park is an extremely interesting documentary. Telling the story of the real Action Park, the documentary explores the various goings-on and lawsuits that stemmed from the incredibly dangerous park. As a theme park nut, I loved this documentary because it shows what happens when smaller parks such as this don't adhere to the strict rules and guidelines of parks like Disneyland or Universal Studios. While it is interesting, it's only so in the moment, as when you're done with it you don't feel like it's changed your views or made you realize something. What I mean is that usually a documentary has to be truly fascinating or teach you something for it to be an easy recommend. However Class Action Park, as interesting as it is, feels more like an extended YouTube Essay as opposed to a full documentary. Still an interesting watch though.
If you'd like to watch it, it's available on HBO Max.
The Starving Games (2013)
SCORE: 1/100
Directed By: Jason Friedberg, Aaron Seltzer
Starring: Maiara Walsh, Brant Daugherty, Cody Christian
Synopsis: In this Hunger Games spoof, Kantmiss Evershot must fight for her life in the 75th annual Starving Games, where she could also win an old ham, a coupon for a foot-long sub, and a partially eaten pickle.
Quick Review: I'm not going to waste your time like this movie wasted mine. It's a complete piece of cinematic excrement. There is not a single redeeming factor in this film beyond one actor with like three total minutes of screen time. It's not funny, it's not clever, it's an embarrassment. If this was the only film on the planet and I had to watch it, I'd kill myself. That's it. Please don't watch this. I'm begging you.
If you'd like to watch it (PLEASE DON'T), it's available on Prime Video.
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